Hey there ;)
My name is Amanda Pahl and I’m a Sex Coach and the Founder of Kinkish!
Working as a Sex Coach, I’ve made it my mission to help kinky people find their footing and live out their fantasies without the shame, stigma, or safety concerns that so many people experience in the kink world (and the vanilla world too).
How Did I Get Here?
On the professional side, I’ve always been interested in sex and was particularly drawn to how people overcome shame to embrace sexual interests that are considered “taboo.” In 2021, I started my master’s program in Marriage & Family Therapy, with a specialization in Systemic Sex Therapy. I graduated and received my license in 2024 and have been working with clients as a Sex Therapist ever since.
On the personal side, it took me about 24 years to come to terms with my own sexuality and overcome the shame (and anxiety) that was holding me back. As I began to share and explore my interests with others, I realized that trying to find your way can be overwhelming, stressful, and sometimes even dangerous when you don’t have the knowledge and skills to explore safely.
I Noticed A Gap…
According to recent research, the majority of Americans are kink-curious, about 40% identify as kinky, but only 12.5% regularly participate in kinky activities. If so many people want to be kinky, what’s holding them back? Well, in my experience, the wild-orgy-whips-and-chains reputation of the kink community can be intimidating to people who want to explore but don’t have much experience. And newbies are often stereotyped as problematic because they tend to rush in without having the knowledge or skills to explore respectfully. Don’t get me wrong: the history and meaning behind the “traditional” kink community is important, but it also doesn’t fit with everyone’s style or preferences.
Even for more experienced kinksters, there seems to be a gap between the core values of the kink community and what actually occurs between people and at events. If safety is supposed to be a foundational element, why are so many events open to the public without even a basic background check or STI test results? If communication is supposed to be a foundational element, why do so many people expect sex from strangers, without so much as a conversation? If the kink community is supposed to be inclusive of people whose interests aren’t mainstream, why is it so cliquey and judgmental of certain groups?
My Mission Is To Fill Those Gaps…hehe ;)
No, seriously though! I provide coaching to help kinky people (beginner or expert) live out their fantasies in an educated, comfortable, and safe way. There’s no “one right way” to do kink and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach! I provide a comfy, judgment-free space to help individuals and couples clarify what their interests are, what expectations they have, what boundaries they feel comfortable with, and what barriers might be holding them back. Then we look at strategies to start exploring at a comfortable pace, keeping consent, communication, and safety at the forefront of the experience.
With all types of growth, you usually get a better outcome when you educate yourself, start slow, and find supportive people to help guide you.
Credentials & Experience
I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapy Associate who specializes in Sex Therapy and works full-time as a Sex Therapist with individuals, couples, and polycules. I have also received these specialized trainings:
Alternative Lovestyles: Working With Polyamorous Clients
Competent Care for Trans/Gender Non-Conforming Adults
Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB)
Sexuality & Trauma: Healing Through Embodiment
This means that I have over 4 years of the ethics training, research-based knowledge, and clinical experience that you’d want in a coach.
BUT, sex coaching is not the same as sex therapy and here is why:
Sex therapy focuses on treating mental illness; sex coaching does not
Sex therapy looks at the past; sex coaching is more focused on the present and future
So, while I am qualified to provide both of these services, I want to be very clear that what I offer here at Kinkish is coaching, not therapy. Mental health, past experiences, trauma, and emotional conflicts certainly play a role in the coaching experience but they are not the focus, which is what sets this apart from therapy.
If you are confused about whether you would benefit more from therapy or coaching, please read this page!
Ready To Start?
Click the button below to fill out the intake form and set up your FREE consultation session!